The Glamazing Race
Episode Title Quotes 1. "Of Course The Fgts Don't Know What A Church Is" - Shaniqua 2. "My Body Feels Dirtier Than Zac's Mind" - Shaniqua 3. "This Tastes Almost As Good As Mildred's Cooking" - Sam 4. "This Is Almost As Dangerous As Hosting Russian Roulette On RFF" - Hessel 5. "I Bet This Queen Of Switzerland Is Another One Of Ben's Mistresses" - Annie 6. "I Will Do Hieroshima On All Gays In Poland Right Now" - Marta 7. "The Awkward Moment When Eugene Has U-Turned Zac More Times Than He's Lied About His Singing Career" - Antranig / "I Can't Help You, I AdBlocked This Task Already" - Kandace 8. "There Is Only Room For One Queen On This Race" - Eugene / "No One Gets Between Me And My Hijab" - Hassan Prizes Leg 1 - 2 Express Passes and Trip to Toronto, Canada (Kandriqua & Ming) Leg 2 - Romantic Trip to Riga, Latvia (Kandace & Riley) Leg 3 - Free Pizzas for Life at Pizza Hut Worldwide (Stevie & Antonia) Leg 4 - Cameo Appearance in Sia's Next Music Video (Marta & Hessel) Leg 5 - Lifetime Membership at Adopt a Church Boy International (Kandace & Riley) Leg 6 - $10,000 Voucher at Hijabs 'R Us and Exclusive Leg 7 Double U-Turn Power (Hassan & Eugene) Leg 7 - $10,000 of Tracking and Spying Equipment from I Don't Trust My Man Inc. (Annie & Juliette) Leg 8 - Dinner with Sirusho at the Pit Stop, 2 VIP Tickets to Eurovision 2016 and Leg 9 Bulletproof Power (Antranig & Zaccheus) Race Summary LEG 01 (UNITED STATES → SWAZILAND) *Denver, Colorado, United States (Colorado State Capitol Building) (Starting Line) *Denver (Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception) * Denver (Denver International Airport) to Mbabane, Swaziland [SWAZI Flag] (Matsapha International Airport) *Mbabane (Mantenga Cultural Village) *Mbabane (Enzuwili Valley Golf Course) *Mbabane (Royal Swazi Spa) http://forum.realityfanforum.com/index.php/topic,31430.msg1116804.html#msg1116804 In the Fast Forward, teams had to strip down to their bare essentials like Ming often does and perform a traditional seductive Swazi dance routine. The first team to master the intricate routine would win the Fast Forward. In the Roadblock, one team member had to enter a traditional hut and learn thirty common words in Swazi. They then had to find Ming who would attempt to sell them tickets to the Panem Games in (broken) English. Responding in Swazi, teams had to answer ten questions and rebuff Ming's efforts to receive their next clue and a limited edition Ming car dashboard sticker. In the Detour, teams had to choose between Awk and Dead. In Awk, teams had to watch a ten-minute video depicting golf highlights from a tournament and identify ten reporting and spelling errors made my Ming in a newspaper article about the event. Once they fixed Ming's Leafenese, they would receive their next clue. In Dead, teams had to participate in Ming's hobby of activism about random causes. Teams had to prepare and deliver a speech addressing the issue of HIV in Swaziland - a country which boasts the world's highest HIV rate - to a judging panel. Once the panel felt that their arguments would make Ming proud, teams would receive their next clue. '''Additional task''' * At the Starting Line, teams had to run into the Colorado State Capitol Building and find the letters 'chu' and 'rch' in the Senate and House of Representatives. Using this information, they had to figure out that their next clue and a flight sign-up sheet was located at the nearest church - the Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception. LEG 02 (SWAZILAND → UNITED KINGDOM) LEG 03 (UNITED KINGDOM → IRELAND) LEG 04 (IRELAND → NETHERLANDS) LEG 05 (NETHERLANDS → SWITZERLAND) * Groningen (Groningen Airport Eelde) to Geneva, Switzerland [SUI Flag] (Geneva Airport) *Geneva (Parc Beaulieu) *Geneva (Parc La Grange) *Geneva (Jet D'eau) http://forum.realityfanforum.com/index.php/topic,31430.msg1119560.html#msg1119560 In the Fast Forward, teams had to pay tribute to Kandace's iconic bathroom selfies, a commodity that an increasing number of teenaged boys are masturbating to, according to EpicMafia. Teams had to find the nearest public bathroom and convince 150 different locals to take an individual selfie in the bathroom. Once they had 150 unique pictures, they would win the Fast Forward. In the Detour, teams had to choose between a popular activity performed by Kandace to save the souls of her followers and a vicious activity that her jealous haters often fantasise about, choosing between Cleanse The Poor Child or Stuck Up Girl Leader. In Cleanse The Poor Child, teams had to travel to the St Pierre Cathedral and help Kandace cleanse the soul of an innocent Greek altar boy corrupted by the Devil's homosexual agenda. Teams had to watch and memorise a soul-cleansing ritual involving incense and a Bible passage before performing the ritual themselves. When Kandace was satisfied that Satan had departed the child's soul, teams would receive their next clue. In Stuck Up Girl Leader, teams had to dress up as Marie Antoinette and a French executioner and drag a Kandace-shaped mannequin one mile to the Palace of Nations. Once there, the executioner had to strap Kandace's head into a guillotine while Marie Antoinette declared "Off with their heads!", ensuring the swift decapitation of the corpse. Once teams had completed the role play, they would receive their next clue. In the Roadblock, teams had to play a variation of chess known as Kandace Chess. In this game, pawns could move and kill forward or diagonally by one or two pieces at any time and castling and other such voodoo magic moves are strictly forbidden. Once the team member defeated an amateur at this game, they would receive their next clue. LEG 06 (SWITZERLAND → POLAND) * Geneva (Geneva Airport) to Wrocław, Poland [POL Flag] (Wrocław–Copernicus Airport) *Wrocław (Wrocław Town Hall) *Wrocław (Cherry Club Wrocław) [SB] *Wrocław (Szczytnicki Park) *Wrocław (Stadion Miejski) ''[Face Off]'' *Wrocław (Teatr Polski) http://forum.realityfanforum.com/index.php/topic,31430.msg1119560.html#msg1119560 In the Fast Forward, teams had to assist the growing music piracy industry in Poland by illegally downloading a list of 25 popular albums from the Internet and selling them for 25 złoty each. Once they sold all of the albums, they would win the Fast Forward. In the Speed Bump, Stevie & Antonia had to repair a toilet broken by rowdy Polish partiers in the Cherry Club Wrocław restrooms. Once the toilet was up to inspection, they could continue racing. In the Roadblock, one team member had to pay tribute to Marta's days day in the fast food service industry by entering a pizza shop beside the Cherry Club Wrocław and taking orders from customers in an effort to sell three dozen pizzas. Once they collected enough orders, they had to 'pull a Marta' and run away from the shop, before searching the parked buses on the surrounding streets for a marked gay couple. Once they found the gay couple, they would receive their next clue. In the Detour, teams had to choose between two historical events close to Marta's heart, choosing between Blonde Bombshell and Hieroshima Bombshell. In Blonde Bombshell, teams had to pay tribute to the birth of Marta's daughter Charlotte by finding a nearby studio and joining a birthing class. There, they would learn how to correctly deliver a baby by following a series of steps. Once they felt they had mastered the routine, they would have to demonstrate it to the rest of the class in order to receive their next clue. In Hieroshima Bombshell, teams had to pay tribute to the bombing of Hiroshima by finding a nearby school science lab, where they would receive instructions on how to develop a miniature explosion simulation. Teams then had to develop two parts of a smoke bomb and choose a blonde mannequin and combine the two parts of the recipe to "do Hieroshima on you face" of the mannequin. If the instructor was satisfied with the amount of smoke produced and the theatrics of their performance, they would receive their next clue. At the Stadion Miejski, teams encountered a Face Off. In the Face Off, teams had to square off against another team in a two on two MMA showdown. The winner of the MMA fight would be able to proceed while the losers would have to wait for another opponent to arrive. LEG 07 (POLAND → GREECE) LEG 08 (GREECE → ARMENIA) * Athens (Elefthérios Venizélos International Airport) to Yerevan, Armenia [ARM Flag] (Zvartnots International Airport) * Garni (Temple of Garni) * Yerevan (National Library of Armenia) * Yerevan (Republic Square) * Yerevan (Yerevan Opera House) * Yerevan (The Cascade) http://forum.realityfanforum.com/index.php/topic,31430.msg1118210.html#msg1118210 In the Fast Forward, teams had to search the complex and poorly organised Cherry Archives in the National Library of Armenia to find seven telegrams sent by the Anto Dictatorship to allied nations. Once they found all seven telegrams, they could use the information on the telegrams to figure out the location of the Pit Stop and win the Fast Forward. In the Detour, teams had to choose between Kicking Out and Coming Out. Both Detour options were centred around the Vardavar Festival, a summertime festival involving thousands of people throwing water at one another in the streets of the city, with each option celebrating a different era within the Anto Dictatorship. In Kicking Out, teams had to pay tribute to the darkest days of the Anto Dictatorship - late-2013 to early-2014 - by rounding up ten children under the age of 14 who are partaking in the festival and sending them to a marked 'Plastics Prison' in Republic Square. Once they had successfully kicked ten children out of the festivities, they would be able to run over to the U-Turn board. In Coming Out, teams had to pay tribute to the end of the Anto Dictatorship and the rise of the Democratic Republic of Anto - late-2014/early-2015 to the present - by entering the festival clutching a gay pride flag and collecting six buckets in the colours of the gay pride flag - red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. They then had to rip apart the buckets and glue them together to create their own gay pride flag. Once the flag was up to the standards of the judge, they would be able to run over to the U-Turn board. In the Roadblock, one team member had to recreate the iconic Eurovision 2009 performance of Inga & Anush's 'Jan Jan' by learning the English and Armenian lyrics and the choreography. Once they performed the routine to the satisfaction of the judges, they would receive their next clue. '''Additional tasks''' * At the Pit Start, teams received a photo of the Temple of Garni saying 'Find me!' Teams had to figure out the temple was in Armenia and fly to its capital, Yerevan, before making their way to the temple. * After completing the Fast Forward or Roadblock, teams received a copy of Anto's upcoming novel which they had to take with them to the Pit Stop. In addition, teams who completed the Roadblock had to use the book to figure out the Pit Stop location, which coincided with the main character's name. LEG 09 (ARMENIA → BANGLADESH) LEG 10 (BANGLADESH → SINGAPORE) LEG 11 (SINGAPORE → AUSTRALIA) LEG 12 (AUSTRALIA → CANADA → UNITED STATES)=